On Sunday, March 5 we marked the one-year anniversary of our arrival in Italy. I made it! Woo Hoo! Some days it feels like just yesterday we were loading the dogs and fish onto a plane and setting off on this adventure. Other days it feels like we've lived here for a really, really long time. When I set out to write this blog my goal was to document my first year of life in Italy. So now that time has passed and I've decided to wrap up this blog. Partly because it feels like a natural break. But also because there are some big new projects on the horizon and I feel that they warrant their own place. So....this is the final posting for Puglia, Pooches and Primitivo! This has been an amazing experience and I hope that those of you reading my notes have enjoyed following along. Thanks for your support. Here are my parting thoughts.
The anniversary of my arrival in Italy has given me reason to pause (over a glass or two... or ten...of prosecco) and think about how my reality compares to my expectations. And to consider whether I am getting what I had hoped from this move. So I've written down a few personal observations/lessons learned. Perhaps someone reading this and contemplating a move might find them helpful. Or maybe just find them fun. Or interesting. I hope so.
In no particular order of importance...
1) You know that expression "wherever you go, there you are"? My goodness that is true. If I made this move hoping to wake up every morning having left behind my quirks and insecurities....that did not happen. There was nothing in the water that turned me into the super confident, stylish European lady I have always admired. I still hate my hair, my ever-deepening forehead lines and RBF. I feel like I need to lose 10 (or perhaps right now more) pounds. Can't stand having my picture taken. I'm really nervous about making grammar mistakes when I speak Italian. And I still go to the store wearing yoga pants and then regret it. Bleh!
However there is one BIG change in my life. I finally did what I had talked about forever. I got sick of hearing myself blather on about it and I blasted myself out of my comfort zone. I have had no choice but to step out every day into a world that is foreign, not just in language, but in culture, to me. And I've done a pretty good job of navigating. Of that I am very proud. I'll continue to work on the other things (probably to the grave). But for now I'm gonna put one big tick in the "good for me" column.
2) Coming here has reaffirmed (x 100!) my commitment to animals and the animal welfare community. It is a passion that transcends borders and languages. One of the saddest things in my life is having to encounter animal abuses and suffering. I do what I can every day. I feed strays (most of whom are too timid to interact but I know they are grateful). I have developed friendships with neighborhood dogs who are "outdoor pets". I give them biscuits and a kind word each time I pass. They now know the sound of my car. And I lose sleep on cold nights thinking about them, knowing there is nothing immediate I can do. (There is no animal control hotline here that I can call and their owners clearly see no problem.) Heavy sigh....
I have made it a point to meet the people who are leading the charge for animal welfare locally and battling uphill in a community that does not have enabling conditions or facilities working in their favor. We connect in a very profound way and I am going to double down on my efforts to support them and those like them in this world. They are so much braver than I will ever be. (WATCH THIS SPACE for a new project or two that I have up my sleeve.)
**Speaking of animal welfare in my little corner of Puglia, I must recount the fact that during hunting season I, along with Craig, did my best to turn the lives of the local "cacciatori" upside down. Hell hath no fury like an American woman running into the woods chasing after an armed Italian hunter for coming way too close to her home and shooting at the beautiful birds.....all the while shouting expletives in a mix of languages. I survived that ordeal and eventually the hunters stopped coming close to our house. I'm sure they continued shooting at other people's neighborhood birds, which makes me very sad. But if I made them uncomfortable for a time, then I suppose I did my job.**
3) I have learned the importance of being careful what you wish for. After many, many years of hard work, company politics and seemingly non-stop traveling, I was really looking forward to a mid-life "timeout". For the first few months living in Puglia that break did not seem forthcoming. Struggling with language, the medical system, the electricity, water and gas issues, getting my Italian residence, and getting my dogs sorted all kept me occupied. Daily life presented a fair number of challenges.
Fast forward to today and things look a little different. Having settled into a routine and now having lots of time on my hands, I am starting to wonder if a long-term break is what I wanted. And wondering what kind of life will be fulfilling going forward. Is there such a thing as a happy medium? Do I have something big yet to accomplish? I am not a philosopher. Or a writer. Or a painter. So living a "vita tranquilla"? Not so sure. I do enjoy being in my own company to a point (I am, after all, quite funny). However, according to Myers-Briggs, I'm a raging, full-fledged extrovert.....needing external reinforcement and stimulation to derive energy. Thinking I might need to put myself back out there in one way, shape or form. (See note #2 above.)
For anyone making this kind of move, especially at 50, this is something worth a good deal of consideration.
4) Do you remember the story about the city mouse and the country mouse? Well I'm still really confused about which one I am. When I'm in the city for too long I long for rolling hills, mountains, the ocean, fresh air. When I'm in the country too long I find myself missing the energy and cultural options provided by an urban environment and getting frustrated with the slower pace of life....a dilemma that has been heightened this year as I have not had business travel to keep me in and out of different countries, cities and various "oh my god my feet are sinking in goopy Amazonian clay and I hope I don't get eaten by piranhas" and "what do you mean I can't blow dry my hair?" environments. Perhaps it would be different if I had a big family or other pressing reasons that would draw me to one place or another. But right now I'm clinging to the idea that I can structure my life to include both. (NB: Dogs prefer country life, so I'm taking their votes into consideration for my primary residence.)
5) And finally, I have, in the last year, been reminded of the importance of friendship. Not sure how I would have coped if I had made this move in the era before social media/Skype/WhatsApp. Times when I was frustrated or sad or doubtful it meant a lot to get words of encouragement and have laughs with my friends from all over the world. And to keep connected with everyone else's news. Sharing this adventure has made it that much more rewarding. I do hope that I can pay it forward for the next person who takes a crazy leap. And I hope you will all continue to hang with me.
Abbracci e baci,
T.
